Chapter 9 - Trials

Jacob had been told.  Carlisle had advised him to take Bronte away until all was over and done but neither of them would accept that option.  

Bronte spoke to us, her wide eyes looking at us each in turn, “I won’t go” She stated, “it may be selfish, but I need you - the Cullens - more than you need me, I don’t want to be the only one, and I refuse to become a monster... I refuse”

Jacob agreed, he would stay and defend the Cullens, and me, for Bronte.  I felt a twinge of something when he said that, loss? regret? jealousy? No surely I was not like Rosalie, Surely I could be happy Jacob was in love, and not with me! I thought about it long and hard and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t jealousy that I felt, it was loss, I had lost Jacob as my best friend and that was, as it always had been, hard to deal with.  I caught his eye then, and he grinned at me, one of his enormous arms stretched across Brontes tiny shoulders, stretched back in the couch he looked completely at home in the house of his former enemies.  I suppressed a giggle, “Who’d a thunk it?” I said to nobody in particular.

Edward was pacing up and down watching Alice like a hawk, waiting for her vision to alter or best case scenario disappear altogether.  I saw him suddenly change the direction of his concentration to the front door and he turned to Jacob and said “Expecting someone?”

Jacob looked confused but then we heard it, the howling.

It was the wolf pack, Jacobs brothers in lupine form, Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry and little Quil.  

Jacob stood and phased, it was an impressive sight, he seemed to shake the wolf in him out, like a wet dog, faster and faster until  the inner took over.  It wasn’t horrible to see, quite the opposite, I found it quite hypnotic.  With a long stretch, Jacobs hind legs nearly reaching the roof, he loped across the room and out the door which Carlisle held open for him.  Everyone in the room exhaled, “Those dogs stink!” Rosalie said as she flounced out of the room, taking Emmett with her by the collar.

Edward looked at me, and I looked at him.

Here we were, all our plans assunder, everything up in the air, but still no doubt in our minds.  Till death do us part.

Edward could hear the wolves thinking and relayed to me what they were saying, “THey don’t, they won’t let Jacob do this, they say he is crazy to defend a bloodsucker, but Embry is feeling Jacobs pain at the thought of losing Bronte now, he is saying he can’t choose his mate.  Sam seems the most indignant but even he can feel Jacobs thoughts and feelings, so its hard for him to say what he is saying.  Jacob is saying he will leave the Wolf pack, become a loner, he has no problem doing that to protect the pack, but Sam is thinking that would be the worst outcome.  They are all thinking as one now, Bronte and we, the Cullens including you Bella, will be protected  by the Wolf Pack...”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, considering Alices premonition, I wanted as few people involved in this frey as possible.  The thoughts of little Quil being injured, or lost... I shook the image away.

Edward wanted me to have as normal a life as possible, so even with this battle ahead he decided to take me to the movies, as if all was normal in our teendom.  He liked to take me to see old movies, especially the silent comedies, and I got the impression Edward felt refreshed after connecting with his human self, even on such a small level.  He would bang his leg, and roar laughing at the antics on screen, and I couldn’t but join in.  Tonight we went to see Charlie Chaplin in The Kid.  As the opening titles flashed I became acutely aware of the ancient soul who sat grasping my hand.  The movie we watched had been made in 1921, and if there was no such thing as Vampires, he would have been buried for 3 years by the time people got to see it for the first time.  I looked at the screen and looked at the clothes, the cars, the houses.  The world was such a different place and this love of my life had seen it all.  For the first time I realised we had never talked about that side of things, Edward had seen so much... and had been young throughout.  My mind flipped through images of him, did he fight in world war two? Vietnam? Was he at Woodstock? Where was he when JFK was shot? All the iconic eras, ones that I heard my parents talk about, Edward could talk about them too.  I couldn’t wait for the movie to end to ask him.

The film was great, until I met Edward I had never seen an old movie, let alone a silent one! The story played through, a tramp finds a baby and brings it up, while its mother, regretting the decision, tries to find her son.  There is a scene in the movie where the child is being taken away and chaplin runs after the truck.  I was caught by an unexpected overwhelming memory of running after Edward in the forest when he left.  I suddenly felt that awful lump in my throat and knew I was going to cry.  I flicked a look at Edward beside and me and he squeezed my hand, obviously thinking my slipping tears were due to the sad story.  But when the movie was over, and I still sat sobbing in my seat, unable to talk while he begged me to tell him what was the matter, I realised I had never really got it off my chest how much I had suffered.  Edward had seen Jacobs memories, and so I knew he knew, and therefore I never talked about it.  I never opened up.  I had pushed my hurt away and now it was overflowing into the empty cinema.

“Bella, please, what is it? Was it the movie?”

“No...” I shook my head, “Its nothing, its silly...”

“It couldn’t be silly... Bella look at you, you are really upset, did I say something?”

“No, no” I hugged him close, “Its just seeing the movie, it just upset me”

“Why Bella? What is it? Talk to me Bella please”

I didn’t want to hurt him, I didn’t want to fill his head with my thoughts, he had enough in there already.  I didn’t want to drag up events of a year ago.

“It... the movie... it reminded me of something really sad”  I offered

I saw in his face that he knew why I was crying, “When I left..”

I nodded.

Edward looked desolate, “I will never leave you Bella”

“Edward.  You had said that before.  When James...” 

“I know...” He dropped his head into his hands, “I’m sorry...” was all he could say,

“I don’t want to resurrect it Edward” I said, “I didn’t expect to get upset over it, I was grand but then...oh that movie! It was just so heartbreaking and I suppose my brain, or body or whatever, recognised the feeling... maybe... but it is just one set of tears, and I think they’ve cried themselves out now...” I grinned sadly.

With that he picked me up like I was a small child and carried me out of the cinema, holding me as tightly as he could without hurting me.  My head nestled under his chin and I held him like I would never let go.

We drove home.

On the way I tried to lighten the air, “Were you in Vietnam?” I asked

He looked at me like I was mad, “Where did that come from?”

“I dunno, I just thought there that you must have been, if you were in high school I mean, wouldn’t you have been drafted?”

“Yeh...”

“You were?”

“Eh yeh, me and Emmet were there for a couple of years”

“Oh my God” I couldn’t believe it.

“It was a difficult time, I don’t like to talk about it but I’m sure you can imagine, we needed to be quite restrained”

“Oh... did you...?”

“No I hadn’t killed anyone in a long time, so I wasn’t going to start there of all places”

“Edward thats amazing, was it awful?”

“For humans it was, hell, the worst place you could imagine, but I suppose Emmett and I got off lightly, we weren’t harmed at all”

“Obviously...”

“No I mean our unit... We never took fire, I suppose having vampires on your side there is a positive thing!”

“Thats amazing! I can’t believe you were there... ”

“Yeh, other platoons would rub us on the shoulder or forehead for luck, you know because we always came home without a scratch... they weren’t so lucky...” He look sad, “We lived in a nice town then, and like Forks the population was small, we made it our business to get all those boys back home... having a...mission... made it easier to resist.. uh...temptation...”

“That is very noble” I said proudly, rubbing his forehead, “I could do with some luck!”

Edward laughed, that husky throaty chuckle I loved, “I think in this situation that is what will get us through!”