Chapter 10 - Assurance

“Were you at Woodstock Edward?” I asked that night, after saying goodnight to Charlie and sitting in my room with the window open, seconds feeling like hours, until Edward appeared with one bound into the room.

He burst out laughing, “Yes!” and then he told me all about it, how they had allowed the sun to shine on their faces that day for a while and I roared laughing when he imittated the hippies “Hey man... psychadelic skin dude” 

I slept in his arms as I always did and woke to his kisses on my eyelids, soft and cold.  I knew it was something I would grieve for - that first waking moment.  It would be the one thing I knew I would long for when I no longer slept, when my life was eternal night.

Alice rang us then, Caius was leaving Italy, he would be in Forks in two days.  She suspected he was acting alone as there were no other Volturi with him but she couldn’t be sure.

Edward poo pooed the fight,  “Its one vampire” he said, “There are now 8 of us...”

Bronte was fitting in well with the Cullens, although her newborn status was proving interesting, she had an amazing gift of thought transference, but also was unusually self disciplined, Carlisle was positive that was a secondary benefit of her ability to ‘spike’.

She would often start wailing, crying without tears, if a particularly attractive human was in her nose range and she would cling to whoever she was with in order to stay away from losing control.  I never went anywhere with her alone, and she tried to always stay down wind of me.  I trusted Bronte though, more than she trusted herself and we concocted somewhat of a friendship if even from opposite ends of the room.

The police search for her body, after the ransacked house and her mothers corpse were discovered had long ceased and her posters were fading on lamp posts around the town.  Brontes new form had changed her features sufficiently to be unrecognised as the missing girl and she was beginning to feel more confident about being seen with Jacob Black.  Meeting Charlie, who had been well aware of the case, confirmed the dust had settled, and so Bronte, though continuing to reside with the Cullens, became free to hang around in town, and was even accepted in La Push.  Wrinkled noses aside, she was Jacobs mate and that was enough to ensure her the full protection of the pack.

I wanted to be Brontes friend.  I jumped at the opportunity to hang out, feeling the need to have her on my side, gain some knowledge into those newborn days, I was hoping to ask her about the pain, the coward in me had felt it before but not for long, I wanted to gain inside knowledge.  More than anything I hoped she would tell me she was glad to be a vampire.  

We were walking on La Push beach, while Jacob had stuff to do, and it was a silent companion that I strolled with.  I completely trusted Bronte but Jacob had sent Seth to ensure she kept her teeth to herself and he wandered behind us, in his wolf form.  We walked without talking.  I had tried to chit chat but nothing seemed to evoke conversation, so I allowed my chatter to dwindle into a comfortable silence.  

Bronte came to a slow stop and turned to allow the ocean spray refresh her face, she took a deep breath, “I miss it... breathing”

I half laughed, “huh?”

She turned to me, an impatient look on her face, “I miss breathing Bella, I miss the feeling of a long inhale of fresh air...”

I frowned, then smiled, unsure what to say.  Brontes face went stiff and out of the blue she said, “He still loves you, you know”

I gasped.  My hand flying to my chest with surprise, “What? Who? What do you... What?” I babbled.

“Oh blah blah” Bronte said cattily, “I don’t care, I mean he loves me more, loves me forever you know, we’re soul mates, but I can see it when he talks about you, or when you talk to him... he loves you”

“Jacob?” I wanted to run away, this conversation was not one I had envisioned, or ever wanted, to be having with Bronte, I decided to play dumb, “What are you talking about? He loves you alone of course!”

“Ah ah!” Bronte said, with a schoolteacher inflection, “Lets not pretend... Jacob still loves you, he just loves me more... I don’t need to read minds to know it, I know it because I know him.  He is a big old softie, and his eyes tell all his stories... When he hears your name his eyes scream it, when he sees you they light up and when Edward touches you he cannot help but look away... it is possible to love two people Bella, you should know that...”

I realised Bronte had been filled in on the events of the past few years.  I nodded, wishing the conversation was over.

She continued, “I’m not jealous Bella, but I’m also not stupid, I need Jacob a hell of a lot more than you need Edward, without him I exist alone with an eternal day ahead of me and no respite from pain... at least, should something happen to Edward, you would eventually die, and its not likely that something should happen to him is it?”  

I looked at her, “I’m sorry Bronte but I don’t know what you want me to say...”

Bronte took my arm, “I suppose I’m looking for reassurance Bella, that Jacob will survive this battle, and above all I suppose I’m looking for reassurance that if something should happen to Edward, that you won’t... turn to Jacob... again...”

I shook my head but resolved not to even answer that, it was a moot question, if something happened to take Edward from me, I would follow, even into the pits of hell.